What a week, and its only Wednesday...DANGIT!!!

Ok, so this blog is definitely NOT going to be one of those deep introspective things that really makes people go....hmmmph...good for you i guess....? Shrug and go on to another more meaningful waste of time online. Oh no, i intend this to be deeply thrilling, full of twists, turns and of course, a murder most horrid.....oh wait, nevermind... With that being said, i do want to get something out there that is on my thoughts. Be it lame as you might think i want to be cliche for a few. My life has changed forever this very week. Well not really, but in a way it did. We have seen our unborn friend...who i have dubbed "Cleatus the Fetus" (its the only thing that rhymes with fetus...give me a break, and its hideous, something that i take great joy in, but i digress.) Not only have we seen this miracle in the making, but have also learned something of its identity. Cleatus is in fact not only human, but a boy. I cant begin to express the amount of pride that has entered into my heart with that knowledge. This anomaly, who has been nothing more than and idea, and occasional bump felt in her expanding belly, is in fact a real person. Duh Steve... but to me its much more than that. I have been in cloud 9 with the idea of this child coming into our lives, but i haven't thought, let alone daydreamed about anything beyond a ambiguous "baby". Now, not only is my heart full, but my head is spinning with thoughts. What will HE be like, will he be anything like me, or will HE be more like HIS mother. What will HIS tastes be, what will i be able to show HIM. Its like a floodgate has opened in my mind and i don't even know where to begin. I take comfort in a funny statement someone said the other day: "Its hard to kill a child". That give me hope. ha ha, but truthfully I am going to be a father. I think i am growing up now, much more than ever before. My purpose is coming full circle. I'm not going to sit here and waste time with all my doubts as a soon-to-be-parent (don't be fooled there are countless..) but instead i am going to embrace the moment, savor the experiences and trust that Heavenly Father, he trusts us to do whats right, and he CLEARLY knows more than i do. I have often heard and read in the countless baby books that Jewel and I have been pouring through that to have a son brings a huge sense of pride to the father. Its like a sign of his manliness. Now, i have always thought of that and said to myself, really?? But i am finding myself bursting with pride. Now, as a disclaimer i would like to think that it has nothing to do with the gender, i truly feel that i would react with a female offspring as well, i just haven't had that experience yet. I really cant wait to meet this little guy and show him a what i know. Then come up with ways to fill the other 45 minutes of the hour. :) Ok, this has gone on long enough. If you have gotten this far in this blog, then i thank you for your pains and courtesies. This couldn't have been easy for you. You will be blessed ;)

Oh, and by the way that is an ultrasound of an animal. ha ha ha i will post our REAL boy soon.