Its like religion!!!

So, i wrote this blog back in January and never posted it. I didnt even finish it, i lost alot of dang funny material over the past few weeks, but i thought i would post it anyways. PLEASE IN JEST post some dang funny experiences in the comment section. We could all use a good laugh. :)


***Disclaimer*** This blog is sole in jest, if this is applicable to you, please laugh....ok here goes....





I love my wife. I love my wife being pregnant. Its amazing to see the progression of this miracle right before my eyes. As we approach the home stretch, it seems only fitting to be filled with the feelings of excitment, joy, nervousness, fear, hope and basically any emotion on the spectrum of life.

This is our first child, which means that everything is up in the air right now for us, our entire life is going to change drastically in the next short while. Its not going to be easy, i get that, but despite all the trauma that ensues, darn it i am excited! And i dont care, i have every rite to be!

As the pregancy has progressed, i have learned something. Giving birth is a religion. I have never seen a topic that is so personal and important to anyone in my life next to religion, therefore ergo, i link them together in this blog. Here is my problem though...



Every person that has ever had children in their lives feels a deep natural instinct to press their opinons, beliefs, strategies and horror stories on us incessantly. I cant handle it! True story, about once a day (or 30 if its sunday) we get cornered by someone who is the end all be all guru of pregancy, delivering babies and rasing said infants. I love to hear peoples thoughts, but IF WE ARE GOING TO DO SOMETHING OUR WAY.....LET US! Holy cow. Its a never ending battle that no matter what i say, i will lose on. If people find out that we are doing this natural we are idiots, or they try to justify why they were an exception to the case and HAD to have meds. Here it goes (as i see my self loosing all my friends...) I DONT CARE! I dont judge you, i dont think "Oh, you had a c-section" or "epidural...tisk tisk". To each his own. The real miracle is that you have joined hands with your spouse and Heavenly Father in this miraculous act of bringing a life into the world. HOW that baby exits the mother, doesnt really matter to me. But for some reason people feel the need to force you to believe what they believe, and even if you do believe what they believe then they say things like "Oh, you have no idea what you are getting into". Sometimes i feel like people just want to fight me and belittle me because i am not officially in the "club". Case in point:

Random person: "So, are you excited for the baby?"

Steve: "Yes, i cant wait to meet the little guy!"

Random person: "Oh, you say that now, but wait till he comes out, you will be begging stick him back in, enjoy it while you can!"



I ask myself, if its such drama, why have you had 25 trillion kids??!?!



Yet another "winner"

Random Person: "So, are you going to have it natural or epidural?"

Steve: "Well, we are planning on trying to do this all natural."

Random Person: "Oh, i tried that...dumbest thing ever, my husband kept telling me what to do and how to breathe, i told him to sit down and leave me alone. He had no clue what i was going through, and i didnt want him telling me what to do. Just because the "xxxxxx-method" says that he should say it, he said it...I DIDNT ASK HIM TO SAY IT! I was so annoyed with him. Now he just sits in the corner with each kid and stays out of the way.

"My suggestion, is let her do what she needs to do, you are no help. If she asks for your help, do what she asks, but other than that, let a woman take care of what she is meant to do"

HOW RIDICULOUS! If that is how it happened for you, FINE but not all of us are angry bitter loud mouthed people who have a chip on their shoulder from giving birth. SOME OF US ARE EXCITED AND FEEL BLESSED TO BE IN THIS SITUATION! Im just sayin...whatev...

Another good one was seeing two "hens" get their feathers ruffled when one was talking about how terrible her labor was. The other had to one up her with stories of back labor. Then the first upped the antie with stories of her water breaking at work. It went on for a while. In the end the louder one won...but i am sorry...YOU BOTH MADE A HUMAN! HI-5!!!

Alright, well i think this can all be summed up with a button that my friend Claire wore when she was expecting: "Only Happy Birth Stories Please"